Holy crap-- Your monster designs are simply gorgeous and stunning! Yet also rather unsettling at the same time! Aesthetic horror at its finest, imo~ My fave is uh... Pinkie's 👀👌🏻💞 ( Trying not to spoil thigs agshkdkd-- )
Love the char designs as well! And those relics, dang-- I thought they were like guardian angel-type things with how colorful they are, but-- NOOOOOPE!! 😂😭🙏🏻💦
As for the story, it, ofc, feels a bit rushed due to it being a jam game, but otherwise~ I still had a good time with it. The characters are lovable and I ship who the story wants me to ship, however subtle ( ;D ). The ending is super intriguing and def makes me wanna read more!! ( COME ON THAT CANT BE THE END SHDHJDLF-- )
Although, I do have to admit that the NVL writing style suffers in the box of ADV style. I had a hard time figuring out who's talking at times due to the lack of name boxes. But most of all because; ADV having programmed me to think the one talking is the one shown nearest the text agshdjjd-- So. My head hurt a little because I had to essentially reprogram how I read in this style.
This issue should be fixed once you switch to the NVL style you showed tho, so all good ^v^)b
All in all~ Whilst I agree with you that this is quite flawed ( yes, I have more crits and suggestions ( occupational hazard hh ) but I don't wanna seem like a jackass so sksks-- ), it's pretty good for a first release! You should be proud! And I definitely can't wait to read more of your writing! Next time, in the style where it will truly shine 😁👌🏻💞
FGJHFGJHJH I'm glad you love the monster designs!! I spent a lot more time than I should've trying to make them creepy and I spent a lot of time thinking about how to scary them up lol. Pinkie is one of my faves lol love that design (and it's def gonna reappear in another work in the future if/when I can shove it in and make it work haha)
I mean,,, the relics are guardian angels in that it gives them powers to fight monsters but the result is... >:3c
Yeah the story is most definitely rushed! I essentially had to speedrun the building of a whole alternate universe with no time to properly pad it out and the pacing definitely reflects that! I had hoped to put more scenes to give readers time to adjust to the changes in this world but, as you've probably noticed, a lot more "tell" than "show" was thrown in here to basically dump worldbuilding info on people for later stuff. I usually like to create complex worlds and slowburn my way into them (something im struggling with fixing in my Hologram project atm!! Especially because there's a lot of things being thrown at once as the inciting incident occurs and i Do Not want people to get overwhelmed haha) but this was a complex world from the get go set-up without any pacing or slowburn to match it OTL
This said!! Glad you enjoy the little ships in here!! Abby/Vidal and Michi/Irise are pairings i had fun teasing in this piece, although it's probably the closest I'll ever get to writing real romance (esp. since i'm only in it for the queerplatonicness not truly the romance itself haha).
The ending was intentionally meant to end there! Though, if I'd had my way, there might have been an epilogue stating that the common populace now realizes what happens to certain people and are facing a mass panic by those in the afflicted party~
And yeah it definitely seems like NVL in ADV format suffers. I will admit I'm more used to reading stuff like fanfic than reading vns in the typical ADV format so I think that played a factor in how I thought it was comprehensible but sounds like it's confusing instead ;w; I apologize for the headache! It'll definitely read much better when I update to that new format I promise!!!
and feel free to give more crits and feedback if you like!! I know there's a lot of issues with this (I imagine the sprites are one of them and the "tell instead of show" playing a big part in what bogs this down?) and tbh I'd like to hear what I did wrong so I can try my best to fix/evade such errors in the future if possible!!
Thank you so much for the comment though!! I loved reading your thoughts on this and it makes me happy to know you like this and want to see more of my writing in the future ^0^ Hopefully I can get one of my projects out to fruition to make that happen and YES definitely in the NVL style where it'll shine more!
Yeah! Def hella looking forward to the NVL style one 👀👌🏻💞
And cool! I'll be more open to giving you feedback next time then. For this one, I'll just put it to rest since it's been awhile and I have a shitty af memory 😭😭💦 ( And sorry for my lateness. I'm not around itch as often ;v; )
It's nothing game-breaking, so no worries! Best of luck with your next one 🥰🥰💞
OMG I have so much to say about this LOL This was definitely a ride holy cow! I love how at the beginning it was almost kinda... slice-of-lifey. Sure, there was a bit of mystery and intrigue because of the disappearences, but for the most part, we were able to just kind of live with Vidal for a while and get to know him and the other chars, which was really great, as it made the ending hit that much harder.
(Apologies slightly if my thoughts are all over the place afkjsdlafds)
The designs of all the chars—they are absolutely lovely. Really enjoyed seeing them in both their "normal" and lamenter forms and seeing both the similarities and differences between the two. And their relics were so much fun! Loved the different designs for them and especially how they're always just kinda there bouncing around in the background. It gives a lot of movement to the scenes! Sprites in general were just gorgeous, from the soft coloring and highlights to the rainbow gradients... GUH.
If I had to choose a fav from all of them it would have to be Michi—there was something so adorable about him and he was just so sweet and plucky. Then probably Abby. His relationship with Vidal was so beautifully done! I liked how it was subtle but definitely very much THERE and so it just felt very natural, especially given how long they've been friends for. They just played off of each other so well! And the clocktower scene was so sweet—that CG HHHHHH. ABSOLUTE LOVE.
The animations were a lot of fun and kept things really engaging throughout! I especially loved whenever Vidal had his wings out and would do the little floating-up-and-down bit. Writing was lovely. The worldbuilding! I especially loved all the little bits you added in about some of the other lamenters. It made the story feel really big and like this was just a little snapshot of the whole lamenter world with these four. Beautiful backgrounds! Love how soft and warm they were. The sprites looked gorgeous on top of them and everything blended really nicely together.
Fav CG has to be that summer one in the middle with them all at the beach. I paused a moment just to look at it for a while because it was so cute!
AND THEN GUH. As soon as the tension and horror bits started to creep in... dang. It was so well done! The building tension along with those music choices really made the hair on the back of my neck start to stand up, especially when Vidal was being stalked. AND THEN THE FREAKING MIST CREATURES OMG THEY ARE LITERALLY SO CREEPY. Especially Irise's one wtf??? With the neck??? I'm definitely going to have nightmares from these I think HAHAHA. Abby's transformation sequence was especially well done and creeped me out so much. Flashback to all the creepy monster transformations in anime that I've watched that I've never been able to completely erase from my mind LOL
Overall just super well done and a great story that really ramped up at the end and left me wanting more. Like I wanna know what's happening now?? What's going to happen to them? What even really ARE they? I have so many questions.
Highly recommended!!
(Small note—I needed to create a "base" folder for the main font in order to start up the game, I'm not sure why? It popped up an error saying the font wasn't there. I got it to work though and after that no errors at all!!)
FGHJGFHJ I'M GLAD THIS WAS A RIDE FOR YOU IT WAS A RIDE FOR ME TOO
Re: slice of life start up vibes!! That's something ironically a lot of my favorite stuff does: start up with slice of life intro stuff and then BAM horror/fantasy/mystery vibes commence~ So I'm happy to hear I emulated that well here, especially since I wanted to introduce the cast and then slide over into the horror stuff as the slowburn outcome of the mystery pieces itself together.
Creating the relics and rendering them was perhaps my favorite part of this. Twisting the relics into the monster's designs, even more so (and fun fact: Irise's monster form was invented before her relic was). I wanted to make sure the relics were always omnipresent in the scene considering how, at the end, they're presence is Very Relevant to the mystery haha. I'm also happy to hear you like the sprites too,,, I feel like I could have done much better on them and make them look less wonky to my eyes if given time but ultimately i did learn a lot about them (and mad respect to you and everyone else who does sprites w/ so much variance bc that's like godtier patience in my eyes to have all those combinations made and ready to use).
Michi!!! My boy!!! I'm not going to lie for how little he appeared in this he is ironically one of my more favorite characters in the series he actually comes form. Granted, there's a lot more complexity to him there than I got to show here but yessss him being sweet and plucky is just The Best (plus his design is soooo good I love coloring blonde hair so much and his magenta eyes really add to the appeal: i can't wait to draw him even more in his actual story just bc i love his colors so much). And Abby,,, local protagonist in his original series turned love interest in this piece,,, The scenes w/ him and Vidal are probably the closest I'll ever get to being truly overtly romantic in my works and the clocktower scene was very fun to push myself in that regard (so I'm happy to hear the romance is very welldone despite its subtlety because that's very much what I crave in every romance story I read ngl).
Speaking of worldbuilding: would you believe me if I said I had to speedrun the world-building in like 3 days because I had An Idea pre-jam but when writing I found out I really didn't?? I at least got to shove in some cameos tho,,, especially Sadie even tho she only shows up to further enhance the debate about the mystery of what's happenin'
The summer CG!! That one was so great,,, I am a Big Fan of saturated colors and I really let myself go loose with that one. Wish I could've drawn more like that but alas,,, time ate me up
The mist monsters,,,, they are indeed very spooky and Vidal's one in particular is my favorite (RAINBOW COLORS RAINBOW COLORS). I'm really a "monsters are horrifying especially if they're non-humanoid" type of gal and I had fun trying to create ones that looked creepy (and haha Irise's neck was a spur of the moment design but I think it really works for a horrific, almost unattached-from-one's-own-body look :3c)
Overall just super well done and a great story that really ramped up at the end and left me wanting more. Like I wanna know what's happening now?? What's going to happen to them? What even really ARE they? I have so many questions.
>:3c I really like creating mysteries with no real answerse so it's really up to you what you want to make of the ending and what happens after! I consider Blue Moon Lament's story done as of the ending although shortly after Vidal's...happening...I'd like to think the world now knows what's happening to all the disappearing lamenters and how that causes chaos and horror across the world. It's even better when you get to know people don't get to become lamenters by choice...which also means that that will happen to any lamenter whether they want it or not just because they are lamenters :333333333
(and thank you for the note!! i uploaded new files so hopefully those work now \>o</)
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Holy crap-- Your monster designs are simply gorgeous and stunning! Yet also rather unsettling at the same time! Aesthetic horror at its finest, imo~ My fave is uh... Pinkie's 👀👌🏻💞 ( Trying not to spoil thigs agshkdkd-- )
Love the char designs as well! And those relics, dang-- I thought they were like guardian angel-type things with how colorful they are, but-- NOOOOOPE!! 😂😭🙏🏻💦
As for the story, it, ofc, feels a bit rushed due to it being a jam game, but otherwise~ I still had a good time with it. The characters are lovable and I ship who the story wants me to ship, however subtle ( ;D ). The ending is super intriguing and def makes me wanna read more!! ( COME ON THAT CANT BE THE END SHDHJDLF-- )
Although, I do have to admit that the NVL writing style suffers in the box of ADV style. I had a hard time figuring out who's talking at times due to the lack of name boxes. But most of all because; ADV having programmed me to think the one talking is the one shown nearest the text agshdjjd-- So. My head hurt a little because I had to essentially reprogram how I read in this style.
This issue should be fixed once you switch to the NVL style you showed tho, so all good ^v^)b
All in all~ Whilst I agree with you that this is quite flawed ( yes, I have more crits and suggestions ( occupational hazard hh ) but I don't wanna seem like a jackass so sksks-- ), it's pretty good for a first release! You should be proud! And I definitely can't wait to read more of your writing! Next time, in the style where it will truly shine 😁👌🏻💞
Much love,
Nameless L.W. of WingedHares
FGJHFGJHJH I'm glad you love the monster designs!! I spent a lot more time than I should've trying to make them creepy and I spent a lot of time thinking about how to scary them up lol. Pinkie is one of my faves lol love that design (and it's def gonna reappear in another work in the future if/when I can shove it in and make it work haha)
I mean,,, the relics are guardian angels in that it gives them powers to fight monsters but the result is... >:3c
Yeah the story is most definitely rushed! I essentially had to speedrun the building of a whole alternate universe with no time to properly pad it out and the pacing definitely reflects that! I had hoped to put more scenes to give readers time to adjust to the changes in this world but, as you've probably noticed, a lot more "tell" than "show" was thrown in here to basically dump worldbuilding info on people for later stuff. I usually like to create complex worlds and slowburn my way into them (something im struggling with fixing in my Hologram project atm!! Especially because there's a lot of things being thrown at once as the inciting incident occurs and i Do Not want people to get overwhelmed haha) but this was a complex world from the get go set-up without any pacing or slowburn to match it OTL
This said!! Glad you enjoy the little ships in here!! Abby/Vidal and Michi/Irise are pairings i had fun teasing in this piece, although it's probably the closest I'll ever get to writing real romance (esp. since i'm only in it for the queerplatonicness not truly the romance itself haha).
The ending was intentionally meant to end there! Though, if I'd had my way, there might have been an epilogue stating that the common populace now realizes what happens to certain people and are facing a mass panic by those in the afflicted party~
And yeah it definitely seems like NVL in ADV format suffers. I will admit I'm more used to reading stuff like fanfic than reading vns in the typical ADV format so I think that played a factor in how I thought it was comprehensible but sounds like it's confusing instead ;w; I apologize for the headache! It'll definitely read much better when I update to that new format I promise!!!
and feel free to give more crits and feedback if you like!! I know there's a lot of issues with this (I imagine the sprites are one of them and the "tell instead of show" playing a big part in what bogs this down?) and tbh I'd like to hear what I did wrong so I can try my best to fix/evade such errors in the future if possible!!
Thank you so much for the comment though!! I loved reading your thoughts on this and it makes me happy to know you like this and want to see more of my writing in the future ^0^ Hopefully I can get one of my projects out to fruition to make that happen and YES definitely in the NVL style where it'll shine more!
Yeah! Def hella looking forward to the NVL style one 👀👌🏻💞
And cool! I'll be more open to giving you feedback next time then. For this one, I'll just put it to rest since it's been awhile and I have a shitty af memory 😭😭💦 ( And sorry for my lateness. I'm not around itch as often ;v; )
It's nothing game-breaking, so no worries! Best of luck with your next one 🥰🥰💞
OMG I have so much to say about this LOL This was definitely a ride holy cow! I love how at the beginning it was almost kinda... slice-of-lifey. Sure, there was a bit of mystery and intrigue because of the disappearences, but for the most part, we were able to just kind of live with Vidal for a while and get to know him and the other chars, which was really great, as it made the ending hit that much harder.
(Apologies slightly if my thoughts are all over the place afkjsdlafds)
The designs of all the chars—they are absolutely lovely. Really enjoyed seeing them in both their "normal" and lamenter forms and seeing both the similarities and differences between the two. And their relics were so much fun! Loved the different designs for them and especially how they're always just kinda there bouncing around in the background. It gives a lot of movement to the scenes! Sprites in general were just gorgeous, from the soft coloring and highlights to the rainbow gradients... GUH.
If I had to choose a fav from all of them it would have to be Michi—there was something so adorable about him and he was just so sweet and plucky. Then probably Abby. His relationship with Vidal was so beautifully done! I liked how it was subtle but definitely very much THERE and so it just felt very natural, especially given how long they've been friends for. They just played off of each other so well! And the clocktower scene was so sweet—that CG HHHHHH. ABSOLUTE LOVE.
The animations were a lot of fun and kept things really engaging throughout! I especially loved whenever Vidal had his wings out and would do the little floating-up-and-down bit. Writing was lovely. The worldbuilding! I especially loved all the little bits you added in about some of the other lamenters. It made the story feel really big and like this was just a little snapshot of the whole lamenter world with these four. Beautiful backgrounds! Love how soft and warm they were. The sprites looked gorgeous on top of them and everything blended really nicely together.
Fav CG has to be that summer one in the middle with them all at the beach. I paused a moment just to look at it for a while because it was so cute!
AND THEN GUH. As soon as the tension and horror bits started to creep in... dang. It was so well done! The building tension along with those music choices really made the hair on the back of my neck start to stand up, especially when Vidal was being stalked. AND THEN THE FREAKING MIST CREATURES OMG THEY ARE LITERALLY SO CREEPY. Especially Irise's one wtf??? With the neck??? I'm definitely going to have nightmares from these I think HAHAHA. Abby's transformation sequence was especially well done and creeped me out so much. Flashback to all the creepy monster transformations in anime that I've watched that I've never been able to completely erase from my mind LOL
Overall just super well done and a great story that really ramped up at the end and left me wanting more. Like I wanna know what's happening now?? What's going to happen to them? What even really ARE they? I have so many questions.
Highly recommended!!
(Small note—I needed to create a "base" folder for the main font in order to start up the game, I'm not sure why? It popped up an error saying the font wasn't there. I got it to work though and after that no errors at all!!)
FGHJGFHJ I'M GLAD THIS WAS A RIDE FOR YOU IT WAS A RIDE FOR ME TOO
Re: slice of life start up vibes!! That's something ironically a lot of my favorite stuff does: start up with slice of life intro stuff and then BAM horror/fantasy/mystery vibes commence~ So I'm happy to hear I emulated that well here, especially since I wanted to introduce the cast and then slide over into the horror stuff as the slowburn outcome of the mystery pieces itself together.
Creating the relics and rendering them was perhaps my favorite part of this. Twisting the relics into the monster's designs, even more so (and fun fact: Irise's monster form was invented before her relic was). I wanted to make sure the relics were always omnipresent in the scene considering how, at the end, they're presence is Very Relevant to the mystery haha. I'm also happy to hear you like the sprites too,,, I feel like I could have done much better on them and make them look less wonky to my eyes if given time but ultimately i did learn a lot about them (and mad respect to you and everyone else who does sprites w/ so much variance bc that's like godtier patience in my eyes to have all those combinations made and ready to use).
Michi!!! My boy!!! I'm not going to lie for how little he appeared in this he is ironically one of my more favorite characters in the series he actually comes form. Granted, there's a lot more complexity to him there than I got to show here but yessss him being sweet and plucky is just The Best (plus his design is soooo good I love coloring blonde hair so much and his magenta eyes really add to the appeal: i can't wait to draw him even more in his actual story just bc i love his colors so much). And Abby,,, local protagonist in his original series turned love interest in this piece,,, The scenes w/ him and Vidal are probably the closest I'll ever get to being truly overtly romantic in my works and the clocktower scene was very fun to push myself in that regard (so I'm happy to hear the romance is very welldone despite its subtlety because that's very much what I crave in every romance story I read ngl).
Speaking of worldbuilding: would you believe me if I said I had to speedrun the world-building in like 3 days because I had An Idea pre-jam but when writing I found out I really didn't?? I at least got to shove in some cameos tho,,, especially Sadie even tho she only shows up to further enhance the debate about the mystery of what's happenin'
The summer CG!! That one was so great,,, I am a Big Fan of saturated colors and I really let myself go loose with that one. Wish I could've drawn more like that but alas,,, time ate me up
The mist monsters,,,, they are indeed very spooky and Vidal's one in particular is my favorite (RAINBOW COLORS RAINBOW COLORS). I'm really a "monsters are horrifying especially if they're non-humanoid" type of gal and I had fun trying to create ones that looked creepy (and haha Irise's neck was a spur of the moment design but I think it really works for a horrific, almost unattached-from-one's-own-body look :3c)
>:3c I really like creating mysteries with no real answerse so it's really up to you what you want to make of the ending and what happens after! I consider Blue Moon Lament's story done as of the ending although shortly after Vidal's...happening...I'd like to think the world now knows what's happening to all the disappearing lamenters and how that causes chaos and horror across the world. It's even better when you get to know people don't get to become lamenters by choice...which also means that that will happen to any lamenter whether they want it or not just because they are lamenters :333333333
(and thank you for the note!! i uploaded new files so hopefully those work now \>o</)